I know that’s a really controversial statement and I’m probably going to get flamed hard in the comments for making it. But it’s true. I don’t care if my kids like me. I know they love me, and I want them to respect me. But they don’t have to like me. In fact, if they like me all the time then I’m definitely not doing my job as a parent. This is the so-called tough love in good parenting.
Right and Wrong
Parents- our job is to get our kids ready for the world. We are supposed to teach them right and wrong, how to balance a checkbook, how to do laundry, and how to treat other people with compassion and respect. We’re also supposed to teach them that they’re not going to get everything they want. And that life sometimes isn’t fair. And that hard work is hard, and sometimes you don’t get a cookie or money at the end of it. Our kids need us to teach them how to navigate life, and sometimes that means doing things they don’t like. Even when they say they hate me, in fact especially when they say they hate me, I know they are learning and that I’m doing my job.
When I was seven I stole two dollars out of my mother’s wallet. I wanted a book. About horses, I think. I asked for the money and she said no. So I took it, and went to the bookstore and bought the book. She caught me later on reading the book and asked me where I got the money. I lied to her but she already knew I had taken it from her purse. She told me I could keep the book but I had to earn the money and she gave me a list of chores that needed to be done. My mom took the book and told me I could have it back when the chores were done.
I was so angry at her. I had to sweep our long, curling, hill of a driveway and I was just raging at her under my breath the entire time. But after I got older I realized what she taught me that day. And now I do the same things with my kids. They are learning how to be functional adults and good people. So if that means they think I’m the meanest mom alive sometimes I’m ok with that. And you should be too.
We’re not doing our kids any favors by taking the easy route and being their friends. Our kids need us to step up and be responsible. To be the adults. And to show them how to be engaged, active, honest, empathetic adults who can handle the hassles of life without falling apart. So when you don’t say no to your kids or you worry about whether or not they like you instead of whether or not they are learning you are failing them. Stop being their friend and start being a parent. They will thank you later on, I guarantee it.
Love reading an interesting topic, here: Parents Should Cut Down On Their Own Screen Time